◆“Now then, Joh-nny, ”said his master, ”if your father gave you eight cents andyour mother gaveyou six and youruncle gave youfour more, whatwould you have?” Johnny wrin-kled up his fo-rehead and went into silence for several minutes. “Come, come, ”said the master impatiently.” Surely you can solve a simple little problem like that.” “It isn’t a simple problem at all, ”replied the boy, ”I can’t make up my mind whether I’d haveice-scream or goto play video game players.”

◆Teacher: “When was Rome built ?”Student: “At night.” Teacher: “Who told you that? “Student: “You did.  You said Rome was not built in a day.”

◆The absent-minded profe-ssor was busy in his study. “Have you see this?”said hiswife, entering.” There is a re-port in the pa-per of your death.” “Is that so?”returned the professor wi-thout looking up.” We must remem-ber to send a wreath.”

◆One day, when Mr. Black was gi-ving a lesson, hefound a studentnot listening tohim. Instead, he was writing a ltter. “Who are you writing to, my boy?”he asked kindly. “To nobody, ”the student co-vered the paper with his hands. “To nobody? Idon’t believe it.” “Oh, oh, to my-self, ”the stu-dent answered nervously. “What does your letter say then?” “Sorry, sir, howshould I know?Ihaven’t receivedit yet.”

◆Teacher: “How many feet are three dogs, two horses and a farmer?”Student: “Two be- cause all the rest are hoofs.”

◆(After visi-ting the Museum of History)Pupil A: “How do you think of the picture of King Henry the Eighth?”Pupil B: “Henry the Eighth?I must say the picture of Henry the Six- teenth.” Pupil A: “There was only King of Henry the Eighth in the British his- tory. Why do you say Henry the Sixteenth? “Pupil B: “Well, I saw his pic- ture twice.”

◆Teacher: “What are you going to do when you grow up, Tommie ?”Tommie: “Grow a beard so I won’t have so much face to wash.”

◆Teacher: “Millie, spell the word ‘mouse’.” Milie: “M-O-U-S.” Teacher: “But what’s at the end of it?”Milie: “A tail.”

◆Teacher: “Marion, why weren’t you in school yesterday?”Marion: “I had a bad tooth, miss.” Teacher: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Is it better now?”Marion: “I don’t know. I left it with the dentist.”

◆One German student studied in Oxford. One day he said to a girl student: “You have beautiful legs.” “Stop pullingmy leg, ” she an-swered with a smile. “I’m not pu-lling your legs. I’m just lookingat them.”

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