C. 适当增加细节

书面表达评分标准有“适当增加细节”一条内容，也就是说在写作中我们不能简单地把各要点孤立地表达出来，而是应根据情景和文章的主题适当地增加些内容，如可增加句子，也可在某些句子中增加成分。请看习作(有关“家访”的讨论片段)：

(1)I think teachers’ visits to kids’ home can make teachers, students and their parents know each other better through talking face to face. (2)Students can know how much care their teachers have given them. (3)Besides, the teacher can make different suggestions to different students.

该段落虽然没有语言错误，层次也较为清晰，但如果再适当增加些细节则会使上下文连贯、紧凑，同时也符合老师“家访”的实际。如句(2)前加 From these visits，则可使句(1)和句(2)联系更加密切；在句(3)后加上according to their family situation。请看：

I think teachers’ visits to kids’ home can make teachers, students and their parents know each other better through talking face to face. From these visits, students can know how much care their teachers have given them. Besides, the teachers can make different suggestions to different students according to their particular family situation.

3. 段落的简洁性

一个段落可长可短，没有具体限制，主要取决于段落主题表达的需要。但在写段落时必须遵循简洁性原则，避免赘言和与主题无关的语言成分。请看下面一个段落：

(1) Bicycles are a convenient means of transportation. (2)It is easy to go to work by bike. (3)It is easy to go to school by bike. (4)It is also easy to go wherever you like by bike on a short trip, as most of the Chinese live not far from where they work or study. (5)Riding bicycles is also good exercise. (6)It can help build our bodies.

该段落以主题句Bicycles are a convenient means of transportation开始，其后几个扩展句紧紧围绕这一主题展开，这符合段落的写作要求。但是，后面几个句子表达方式过于单一，接连使用了几个It is easy…，这给人重复累赘的感觉，同时也觉得表达乏味。为此，可把句子进行合并与整理，如句(2)和(3)可合并在一块表达：It is easy to go to work or school by bike. 为避免句式重复，句(4)前半部分可改变表达方式：You can go wherever you like by bike, 然后移至句(2)；同时把(4)句后半部分与(2)和(3)合并后的句子放在一起，以符合逻辑性。请看修改后的段落：

Bicycles are a convenient means of transportation. You can go wherever you like by bike on a short trip. It is easy to go to work or school by bike, as most of Chinese live not far from where they work or study. Riding bicycles is also good exercise. It can help build our bodies.

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